Living as a foreigner in Singapore and making ends meet is not an easy thing to do especially for a single mother.
Meet Yashmin Ali Abdullah who, after years of struggling, has finally managed to settle down and lead a much more contented life.
BEYOND BENEVOLENT: Yashmin has been in Beyond Social Services for 4 years. Being in Baker’s Beyond has brought her joy and confidence as she is able to earn some money as well as help people who are going through difficult times. (PHOTO BY: CHARLOTTE TAN)
After getting married to a Singaporean man, thinking that stars have aligned for her and she would live happily ever after. However, after four years she was living in a nightmare with two children, no husband and no home.
Yashmin Ali Abdullah came from the Philippines to Singapore when she was 41 years old for the sole purpose of her marriage. Things were going well during the first few years of marriage where they lived in a flat together and both of them had a job, husband as a driver and Yashmin as a house cleaner. Shortly after, things fell apart unexpectedly when Yashmin’s husband filed for a divorce, through a phone call.
“I didn’t know anything,” as she talked about her divorce.
The Separation
In 2014, her husband insisted her to go back home to spend time with her family in which, she agreed and brought her children. When she was in the Philippines, her husband contacted and told her that he wanted a divorce out of the blue. For the sake of her children, her teacher in Darul Arqam (Muslim Converts’ Association of Singapore) told her that it would be best for her to come back to Singapore and settle the case.
As she had insufficient money, she had to borrow money from her siblings to pay for the plane ticket and daily expenses in Singapore. However, with the money she had it could only last her a few days. Also, she did not have a place to stay so her teacher found her a shelter named Casa Raudha, where she lived together with her children for nine months. Every time she came back, she was under the visiting pass which means she could only stay in Singapore for a few months.
“My children felt sad because we had to keep moving from one place to another,” Yashmin stated as she spoke about her frequent moving of “home”.
Throughout her divorce case, she had to keep travelling from Singapore to Philippines and it was taking a toll on her, and she was constantly depressed
As she was unemployed, she had insufficient money to travel as well as support her family of three. She felt completely helpless.
‘I kept asking myself, what’s going to happen to me and my kids. I was scared, anxious and sad because I didn’t know anything,” said Yashmin.
Slowly but Surely
Yashmin had to take care of her two young children alone, when she was undergoing the divorcement procedure. In the process, she faced many obstacles including going to and fro between Singapore and Philippines, as well as being homeless. Despite her challenges, she persevered and was determined to pull through all of it for her two children.
“I felt so tired and unmotivated but I’m so thankful that god gave me the strength and perseverance to overcome whatever I was going through,” said Yashmin.
When she was in Singapore, Yashmin was heavily dependent on her husband as it was tough for her to adapt in the country; sending and fetching Yashmin to wherever she wanted to go with his lorry.
“At that time, I didn’t have any children. Usually for me, I went from house to market, house to market. Sometimes, he’ll send me to Darul Arqam in Geylang or Lucky Plaza,” recalled the 45-year-old.
Not having any kids then, Yashmin found a job as a house cleaner, where she was required to travel to different parts of Singapore. She travelled everywhere by a taxi, not knowing how to travel by public transport. which easily took around 20% of the salary, according to the 45- year-old.
A New Beginning
One day that changed, when Yashmin’s friend asked her for help as she was cooking for the charity, Beyond Social Services.
“From that day onwards, Zero to Hero,” Yashmin smiled as she recalled the time when Baker’s Beyond lead worker, Stella Jeyanthi, 57, asked her to join Baker’s Beyond.
Baker’s Beyond is a group in the organisation which gives women an opportunity to learn baking as well as earn money from the different baking projects they have. Therefore, from someone who had zero knowledge in baking, Yashmin now knows how to bake Pineapple Tarts, Chocolate Chip cookies and many more. This was also a source of income for her to support her family.
After her divorce finalised in 2018, good news came; her application for a flat was approved and she could collect the key.
“I was like, “YES! It’s a very nice feeling when everything is achieved by me,” Yashmin chuckled.
Yashmin moved in her flat months after and was busy working with Beyond and taking care of her children. On July 2019, she got married to a man whom she met through Beyond Social Services and she now lives with her newlywed husband and her two children in her flat at Lengkok Bahru.
“From someone who was a non-citizen, with two Singaporean children, she managed to get a house in the country. It’s so happy to see how much she grew and achieved within these few years,” said Stella proudly as she talked about Yashmin.
The challenges that Yashmin faced has turned her into a more confident, empowered and stronger woman.
“In life, everybody goes through many challenges and obstacles and it's a matter of how you overcome it,” said Yashmin. “Whenever you overcome any problems, always remember to stay calm and be honest.”
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By: Dina Tahrina